08-28-2006, 02:47 AM
alright, so it probably would have been smarter to post this before we left for tour, but i'm back early and this is my report from our tour promoting, "beer the movie 2: leaving long island..."

city: baltimore MD, bar: fletchers, summary: ah, pissshitfuck! this place was bananas. the wheel of misfortune was certainly entertaining as a tall pale white dude with red hair named casper did the creepiest mangina i've ever seen, a man by the name of agent ralph lit his balls on fire with 151, a girl who looked like aisha tyler wore a diaper and showed her sugarbush, and i licked sour whipped cream off a girl named megan while her boyfriend watched and didn't seem to care very much. we got retarded off of natty bo and had 12 girls on the bar all making out and a few were kind of almost fucking each other with tits out and all. lots of sloppy moments, lots of whiskey poured from the bottle into mouths, and lots of awesome. i left a little early because the sour whipped cream...well, you can figure the rest of that sentence out. regardles, rating: GREAT SELLER!!! A+++!!!

city: san diego CA, bar: plum crazy, summary: excellent specials on the drinks. got shitty drunk at another bar called "open bar" before i got there. i blacked out that night, so i really don't remember much. i was told i drank a ton of jameson and was asking my friends and strangers alike to slap me in the face as hard as they could. for this: B+

city: huntington beach CA, bar: BJ's grill, summary: wasn't much drinking here as it was pretty much a stop along the way, but an awesome town regardless. bought some sick nike sb's, so i will withhold a rating as it wouldn't be fair to this fine city.

city: los angeles CA, bar: brennans, summary: well they had turtle racing, which sounds cooler than it is. it was an okay bar, but tons of wasted space in the huge back patio. the tents would have looked much cooler with barbeques going underneath them. also, i know it's LA, but whats with the white dudes trying to look like spanish gang members? on second thought, maybe they were gang members, but didn't have the tan that i expected. i didn't get stabbed which was a plus, so the rating: C-

city: las vegas NV, bar: hogs & heifers, summary: it was a pretty decent place to get shitty drunk. the security dudes were pretty awesome as was the girl who hooked us up with the gig. it's coyote ugly-ish, but the heckling by the bartenders that every dude in there is a pussy and they need to buy girls shots, drink more, tip the bartenders more, etc. was a little much. although the rude women who wouldn't fuck me reminded me of home, so maybe that got more points (or less). we did get wasted on 24 oz. cans of PBR which was certainly a bonus and we were dancing with other dudes ladies once we got shithoused and they didn't care. huge bonus for the fremont street experience. that light show made me feel like i was 6 years old seeing the most awesome thing ever, except that i came too quick and got embarrased, which made me feel like i was 24. hmm...rating: B

i missed part of the tour for the same reason i haven't posted much, i'm switching jobs, but supposedly austin was blah, tempe was a rainout (of course, it rains once every 6 months), but they made up for it with a girl rubbing ice on her nips in a wet white tee. supposedly memphis was off the heat racks. they drank their faces off and had a drinking contest with a mountain goat who lives in a castle. the owner of the bar, silky o'sullivans, sits on a throne outside the bar and he knows everyone in town...pretty much my dream all my life.

the dudes might hit chicago tuesday night since are booked for mancow, but who knows if they will be there in time. i hope he starts to heckle them and they clown him live on the air. that would be pretty awesome negative (a/k/a positive) publicity.

we have our welcome home party at mr. beery's this coming wednesday, so i'll be sure to be hammered there and will post a report when i gain consciousness. that could take days though.

our radio interview on playboy was okay at best. we were funny, but the hosts were far from it. they were nice guys, but had no clue about being awesome. whatever, air time is always good. they did give us a pogo dildo, so knowing us, i'm sure it will appear in a skit somehow.

best radio interview was on 97.9 in baltimore with mickey and amelia. they were pretty awesome and we had good chemistry with them. a half hour segment turned into an hour and a half. i could definitely see us going back there again. they talked us up big time and the bar was packed mostly because of it. if they podcast it, i'll drop a post because it's worth the listen, i think.

the 2nd dvd comes out on halloween and the soundtrack comes out the week before and is pretty clutch. i'll post a tracklisting once i have one in front of me. this dvd will be a little less gay and a lot more offensive.

08-28-2006, 07:42 AM
So do you guys have your Beer movies which are not directly related to the Beer movie coming out nationwide?

Just a little confused, but less gay and more offensive? INCREASE EM BOTH!

08-28-2006, 07:57 PM
First thing I thought about after seeing the trailer for Beerfest is "THEY RIPPED OFF BIFF'S MOVIE!"